The prophet Muhammad was a religious and political
figure whose mission was to unite the various tribes of the Arabian peninsula
specifically, and the whole world generally, under one religion. As an
example for the world to follow, the life and decisions of the Prophet Muhammad
are those from which much benefit and wisdom may be drawn. From the time
of revelation, the Prophet lived a life under the direct supervision of the
Creator. Thus he was under protection of God from committing any error in
portraying the religion and correct way of life. His each and every
action is one which ought to be emulated, as God himself said about him:
“Indeed you are upon a high moral standard of
character.”
The Prophet was a man bent upon a mission, and his
concerns were not those of other ordinary humans. For these reasons, one
must look into the reasoning why the Prophet took certain decisions during the
course of his life. Though some of them may seem easily applicable,
others may be unfamiliar to this day and age. Consequently, taking things
from his life at face value may lead one to draw false conclusions without any
basis or evidence.
One of those facets of the life of the Prophet which
is often misunderstood, or quite frankly misconstrued, is the fact that he had
contracted a number of marriages in the course of his lifetime. In order
to understand the wisdom in this, one must do a case study of the various
factors which surrounded this decision. Only then can a proper conclusion
be made based upon them.
The domestic life of the Prophet can be divided into
four stages.
The First Stage
The first twenty five years of his life were a period
of celibacy. Youth is normally the stage of life when people get
reckless, when the passions stirred in adolescence run wild because
self-control is not yet learnt. Moreover, at the period of time he lived
in, Arab society did not restrict sexual relations. Yet, he led a chaste,
pure life earning him the title of ‘Ameen,’ ‘the trustworthy.’ A man who
can control himself as a young adult is much more likely to keep self control
in old age.
The Second Stage
When he eventually married, it was not to a young
virgin, junior to him. Instead, after spending 25 celibate years, his
first wife, Khadeejah, was 40 years of age and married twice before. They
stayed happily married for twenty five years until she died, and he did not
marry anyone else during that period. After he received the first
revelation, she was the first person to believe in him as a Prophet of God.
Can there be a greater testimony than a wife fifteen years older than her
husband being the first one to believe in his calling?
He also had every reason to marry another wife while
he was married to her:
First, although she gave him three daughters,
Khadeejah did not bear him any male children who survived infancy. In a
society that practiced female infanticide due to their preference for male
infants, this was indeed a hard trial. His adversaries even jeered at him
after the death of his second son. God, however, repudiated them,
“Surely he that insults you will himself remain
childless.” (Quran 108:3)
Second, he was an extraordinarily handsome man.
One of his companions described him,
‘I began to look at him and at the moon, he was
wearing a red mantle, and he appeared to be more beautiful than the moon to
me.’ [1]
Third, polygamy was widespread and socially acceptable
to women at the time. There were no social barriers preventing him from
taking another wife. He could have easily married a younger, more
beautiful, woman had he so chosen, but he did not. Furthermore, when
pressured to remarry after Khadeejah's death, he chose another widow.
Fourth, the pagans of Mecca offered him wealth,
trappings of gold and silver, leadership, and even marriage to their most
beautiful women only if he would stop preaching; but he refused. He said,
“Even if they set against me the sun on my right and
the moon on my left, I will not abandon my purpose until God grants me success
or until I die.” [2]
Could this be the reply of a man given to the call of
his flesh, or one given to the call of God?
The Third Stage
After passing the prime of his life (physically), he
contracted marriages to more than one wife from the period 2 A.H. - 7 A.H.
(623-628 CE). This happened between the ages of 55 and 60, and all of the
marriages were contracted for unselfish reasons. These were years of wars
for the nascent Muslim nation, when Muslims had to fight in self-defense to
protect their lives and the religion. Consequently, hundreds of his
companions were killed, leaving behind widows and orphans without anyone left
to care for them. Prophet Muhammad set an example for the surviving
companions to remarry the widows in order to support them, so most of his wives
were widows. If sheer lust was the motive, the choice would not have been
widows or divorcees.
The Prophet Muhammad did marry one virgin, Aisha, who
was very young. This marriage is the one that causes the most controversy
among critics who impute immorality in the character of the Prophet due to
this. He married her on the request of her father, Abu Bakr, who was his
closest and earliest follower outside the family. Abu Bakr was the first
among the companions in the Prophet's esteem, and his most trusted ally.
With him he shared the dangerous flight to Medina. Why would he gratuitously
offend such an ally by refusing his request? Aisha is also the source of
much of what we know of the Prophet's Sunnah, without which the legacy left by
him would be so much poorer. Also, the Prophet was fulfilling a
commandment of God, which is to marry those who are ready to marry as soon as
they are ready. The consummation, or full wedding (nikah), was three
years after the contractual arrangement (engagement), when she was fully
mature. As a child, she lived in her father's house, where Muhammad would
visit, often joining in with her play with dolls.
Another reason behind his marriages was to cement
alliances. By marrying into the families of key allies and vanquished
enemies, he laid the ground work for cooperation between Muslims of different
tribes. None of the wives the Prophet married after Aisha compared with
her in youth, intelligence or desire to learn, but all of them contributed in
other ways to the stability of the Muslim nation. Such a man was a
master, not slave, of his passions. His marriages point to farsighted
planning and compassionate interest. If it was not for this compassion,
he would have definitely have chosen, besides Aisha, others similar to her
rather than widows or divorcees to be his wives!
The Fourth Stage
Upon the conquest of Mecca in 8 A.H., warfare came to
an end for the most part. After this time, the Prophet did not remarry.
This shows that he added wives to his family only in the time of
instability and warfare, both to protect them and their children, and to expand
and stabilize the Muslim nation.
The fact that Prophet Muhammad led a morally upright
life was acknowledged by his adversaries, and this is referred to in the Quran
where God challenges his detractors by asking them, rhetorically, if they can
find any moral defect in his life. He told Prophet Muhammad to
“…(Say), I have lived among you a lifetime before
this. Do you not then use your reason?” (Quran 10:16)
No one was able to find any fault in his character
that they could make stick. Assuming, against all evidence, that he was
an imposter and the personal author of the Quran; would he have presented his
morally upright life as proof for his claim to be God’s prophet?
His Humble Standard of Living
Those few years in Medina in which most of his
marriages took place was not one spent in luxury and comfort Rather, his was a
harsh life, marred with the death struggle against the pagans. Huge
armies were at the gates of Medina ready to crush the Muslims, and most of
Arabia had united against him. Battles had to be fought in quick
succession, no time for resting on the laurels of victory or ashes of defeat
between them. For a responsible leader, it was no time for indulging the
passions; not even the ordinary man who was so inclined would find much to
indulge his passions in such times.
Once an orphan, he then became the ruler of a unified
Arabia; but that did not change his simple way of living. He ate the same
humble food and wore the same manner of dress he had worn from his early
manhood, perhaps even more simple and humble than then. The furniture of
his sleeping room consisted of a bed made of date palm leaves which left marks
on his body, one about which even one the closest companions remarked:
“O Messenger of God, the leaders of the Persians drink
from vessels of gold silver, and you do as such?” (Ahmed)
He would often go without eating for
nights on end, and for days no fire would be lit in his house to prepare food.
When this happened, the whole family would survive on dates and water,
despite the fact that the public treasury was at his disposal. The
Prophet could have lived in comfort if he wanted to, as his followers, some of
them quite wealthy, were ready to sacrifice anything for him. However,
due to God's command concerning the behavior of Prophets, he would accept no
charity for himself or his family. Moreover, whether in times of poverty
or plenty, he was not a man devoted to the pleasures this worldly life.
His Nights
Prophet Muhammad had many wives, but he did not spend
most of his night in conjugal enjoyment with them. The Prophet was
commanded by God to
“Stand (praying) all night, except a little; half of
it or a little less than that, or a little more. And recite the Quran
(aloud) in a slow, (pleasant tone and) style.” (Quran 73:2-4)
His wives described how his feet would swell from
standing in prayer. This habitual and constant occupation clearly does
not belong to the life of a man given to sensual pleasures.
The Simple Life of His Wives
After migration to Medina, prosperous trade changed
the condition of Muslims. Conquests brought the comforts of life, and the
wives of the Prophet naturally desired to share the legitimate comforts of
life. However, God revealed:
“O Prophet, say to your wives, if you desire the life
of this world and it’s charms, come, I will give you a provision and set you
free with kindliness. But if you desire God and His Messenger and the
life of the Hereafter, then, truly, God has prepared for those of you who are
virtuous, a great reward.” (Quran 33:28-29)
All the wives were offered alternatives, but not a
single one of them left him for a more comfortable life. Had they
suspected him of being an imposter, or had found the least fault in his
character, or even truly desired the comfortable life offered as an alternative
to being married to him, they could have simply left. Instead, every
single one of them chose the honor of being his wife. Surely if he was a
sensual man, he would not deny the wishes of his wives like this and be willing
to divorce all of them if they had inclined, even if briefly, towards the
worldly pleasures that had become available.
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